Hollow

John had been staring out the window for so long that the glass had begun to feel like a mirror. His reflection look slightly older than he can recall, a little bit thinner, shakier and hollowed out by years that never asked for his permission. Outside, the daylight is calm, different, empty, like the other houses are about to fill with lights and people, but for John this was another Tuesday. Then the rain starts to drop in the streets, John think this is a signal of some sorts, but could be anything. He is just watching the rain pouring.

Anxiety starts to kick in, John is visibly shaking, but he stops his legs, he is aware. He doesn‘t want to lose his composture. Behind him, Denise, an elder woman who refuses to be older is moving between one side and the other. Denise is wearing an outfit that resembles his younger days in Austin, Texas. She starts to scroll into her phone, angrily, and visibily angry. 

The door down the hall is opened. A man in a white coat steps out, adjusting his tie and approaching the two of them. He is Doctor Pergrave, a family doctor that has been treating John‘s family for decades.

Doctor: “He wants to see you, John“

Denise: “Wait. What about me? I‘m his wife!“

John doesn‘t look at her: “He specifically asked for me“

Denise: “That‘s bullshit. You are..“

John: “Are you going to insult me… again?“

The Doctor raised his hand. “Let‘s calm down, please“

John grabs the wheels of his wheelchair and proceeds to go down the hall. He is pulling himself forward, refusing the doctor‘s help, until he reaches to the door. 

Inside the room, machines are running smoothly, there‘s tubes, wires, blinking lights, and between all the sheets and covers, there lies Robert. 

His younger brother. He is 54 years old, and he is dying. 

A tube is connected through Robert‘s mouth, forcing the air into his lungs, because he doesn‘t remember how to breathe in his own. His skin is pale, like the monsters from Silent Hill, and he opens his eyes, when John enters the room.

John is trying not to cry. Denise is trying to sneak through the room, but the Doctor signaled her back, allowing the brothers to have their own private moment.

John approaches his brother a little closer.

“Hey, slugger“, he said, his voice is breaking.

Robert slightly turns his head to see his brother. At first, his eyes were empty, like two baseball balls pointing at different direction, but slowly returning to his original point. But then, Robert started to cough very violently through the tube. 

John: “I brought you something“

Robert looks confused, because John doesn‘t have anything in his hands.

John: “I must have forgot. It was a rubber, you know… For later.“

Robert smiled, but no sound came from beneath him. 

John: “I… should look more after you. I… was not there after I left for college. We grew separate lives. But… you know. Life is precious. You know?“

John coughs briefly.

John: “I‘m 68 now. I could die, nobody knows. And, that‘s okay. I think I have lived enough. I think it‘s time to go home.“

Robert is trying to say something through the tube, but he is forcing a way to let his voice out for a minute. 

John: “Do you remember that I make you a promise? That I will take care of your children, your big boy, with all due respect, he‘s a douche. Who the hell thinks that putting a donut store next to a vegan restaurant would be a good idea?.“

John laughs, but coughs a little.

John: “Excuse me, I‘m old. I used to make you laugh all the time. The good ol‘ days. But now, I‘m a human full of regrets, but I want you to know that I love you so much, you little slugger.“

John is staring back at the wall, remembering his ol‘ good days. 

1970.

They are very smart children, who like to play between them. They watch TV together, eating dinner and pranking. John is teaching Robert how to ride a bike, next thing is Robert coming from his first day of school with a bruise in his head. Then, one day, Robert is coming back to the house with a friend, and someone from behind pushes him over to the sidewalk, and John chases him down the street. 

An inner voice between the memories starts to speak in.

John: “Do you remember those days? When were just kids. You were someone to keep me company, someone that I will care until the end of times. When Mom left Dad, they have their fights, but you were just a little boy to even understand the magnitude of what that meant for us. We grew more as a family.“

Her mom was pregnant, she is beautiful, like an angel falled from the sky. The mom was constantly fighting with her husband. Robert is inside his bedroom, covering his ears, and John opening the door to hug his brother and cover his ears.

John glances through the door and saw his Dad slapping her Mom.

The memories start to fade away, and John looks at his brother connected with tubes, and wires. John is trying not to cry.

John: “Mom once said to me, that moment when Dad left, that I needed to be the man of the house. The leader of the pack.“

Another memory starts to kick in.

1987.

John is a young adult, he is preparing to leave for college, while Robert is still a teenager.

John: “She was right. We need to live our lives to the fullest. And, we did. I made a promise.“

John said goodbye to his brother, while stepping outside of the front door, and he made him a signal with his fingers, simbolyzing ‘unity‘. 

John: “I will never forget the day we say goodbye. It was tough.“

John is putting his things in the back of the car, and he sees Robert through the window, crying. John makes the hand signal again, but his brother is ripping from inside and out, crying and pushing the window.

The memory fades away, again, and we go back to the bedroom.

John, crying, gives his brother a big hug. 

John: “I‘ll see you in a bit.“

John goes back to his wheelchair, and sees Robert‘s eyes glowing with tears. While John pulls his wheelchair outside of the bedroom, he glances back again, when he hears something.

Robert: “I…l…o…ve, you too.“, while Robert makes the hand signal again.

John turns back and pulls himself outside of the room, and the Doctor is waiting outside. 

Doctor: “John, may I speak with you in private?“

The Doctor is talking with John in the living room and Denise is pacing back and forth, like desperate. 

Doctor: “He is suffering. He has not much time left. For now, I can‘t make this decision, but I think it‘s time to let him go.“

John: “I don‘t know… I.. It‘s my brother.“

Denise: “And he‘s my husband. That is my decision as well. Not this dumb bafoon.“

John: “Bafoon?“

Doctor: “Please, let‘s keep it calm. Facing this type of decision is extremely difficult, it‘s not easy choice.“

John: “Denise, I don‘t want my brother to leave, but the Doctor said he is suffering. I can‘t stand that he will die with pain.“

Denise: “I say we need to keep him connected, at least he will be surrounded by his family.“

John: “Do you prefer that he dies with pain while he is surrounded by us? Instead of dying peacefully. I seriously wonder sometimes what he saw in you.“

Doctor: “John, Denise. Take your time. It‘s not an easy decision. Come find me when you have an answer.“

As time goes by, John is glacing through the window, thinking, seeing life. While, Denise is hugging and reading a book to Robert. John, turns his wheelchair around and sees the backdoor open, and proceeds to pull himself over to there.

While he opens the door, we are transported back in time. 

A younger John is helping his mom to clean the garden. They are goofing around, and then, the MOM stares back at Older John, while he is sitting in his wheelchair and through his perspective, there‘s an old garden without life, and from her perspective is the past.

John tries to hold it together.

John: “Mom… what should I do? I don‘t want to lose him. I… already lost you. And… that was the biggest thing on my life that I couldn‘t get over. Denise is right, you know? I don‘t want to give her a reason on anything, but why him? Why not me? I lived enough and I thought it was my time.“

Her Mom is glacing back at him, with a smile, but she is not responding back. But in the other window, where Robert is connected, Denise is looking outside and turns to see that John is not moving, not even his lips. He‘s staring into blank space, with his head turned to the left. He has MS disease. Denise looks terrified, and goes back to find the doctor.

Back to John, he is talking as a normal person again.

John: “I believe in heaven, I do. That‘s why you‘re waiting for us. I hope we can all be together as a family. I would like that. I really would. I love you so much, mom. And I miss you, every goddam day of my life.“

Her mom does the same hand signal, and proceeds to help younger John to clean the garden. A loud noise is heard across the house. John pulls back inside with his wheelchair, and turns quickly and the Doctor is screaming “Oh shit!“ 

John: “What is going on? Doctor? Denise? Somebody fucking answer me! What the hell is happening?“

And, Denise comes out of where Robert is at, and she is crying hard. John slowly enters the room, revealing that Robert disconnected himself, and he put down the tube aside. Robert is trying again to make the hand sign, but he is weak. 

John is crying, as he tries to stand up of his wheelchair and walks slowly to him. Robert is fightning hard to stay awake.

John: “Don‘t go, don‘t go. No, no, no, no. I… will see you again. I promise, I will see you again. Robert, listen to me, I love you. I will always be with you. That‘s the job of a big brother like me. Hey, listen to me. Don‘t go. I‘m here.“

Robert slowly closes his eyes and dies peacefully. John hugs his brother, as The Doctor pushes the button to stop beeping, and the blinking lights stops to flicker, and the room starts to feel empty, glowing the sunlight through the window. 

John is hugging his brother, crying. Unable to let him go. Denise is beside, and crying as well, while the doctor steps outside for some comfort between the family. 

John: “I‘ll see you in a bit, okay? I love you, slugger.“

In a open field, someone opens his eyes and we hear the voice echo of John saying ‘I‘ll see you in a bit‘ and we see Robert as a teenager again. Robert is looking around, and he sees the grass getting tall, like in the movies, the sky is blue, the air is soft, and everything feels good. Like a sense of relief. He is walking again, jumping around like crazy. But from the distance, he sees her Mom waving at him, Robert stops for a second, and he feels a hand in his shoulder. 

John: “Where you going, slugger?“

John is a young adult again, as he grabs Robert‘s shoulder and they both see their mom. Robert and John runs towards their mom, while slowly they are becoming children again. They are together. 

Whole.

Together 

In heaven. As they should be.

The End.