Fred Swan

Short Story

By R.J. Quilantan

 

First Secretary diplomat, Consul David Torres de la Garza, arrived at the General Consulate of Mexico in Milan, Italy, in the afternoon, to the usual sounds of coworkers chatting and phones ringing. He moved like a man on autopilot through the office corridors, briskly but measured, dragging the tension of someone trying not to snap from his thoughts. He greeted his coworkers with fake smiles as part of his morning ritual, wondering if they could tell. Entering his office, he hung his coat, fixed his tie, and sat at his desk. His attempt to clear his mind is interrupted by the ringing of his intercom. He answered.  

“Consul Torres here.” 

“Consul Torres, good morning, would it be possible for you to come to the admin office?” asked Florencia. “There´s a situation here … there´s someone who would like to see you, and well – it would be easier to explain in person, if that´s alright.”

“Yes, of course, Florencia, give me a minute, and I will be there.” Replied David.

“Thank you, Consul.” Florencia hung up.

David closed his eyes tightly and reclined back in his chair. He inhaled through his nose and exhaled with a grunt. He rose, grabbed his blazer, and made his way to see Florencia. As he approached her office, he noticed she wasn´t alone. She was conversing with a man whom he had never seen before. As he got closer, his attention was drawn to two glasses of whiskey on her desk. David knocked on her door. 

“Consul, good morning,” said Florencia. “Thank you for coming. There is someone I would like you to meet.” David stepped into her office and stood before the man. The stranger was impeccable, with deep blue eyes, blonde hair and immaculately dressed, from head to toe. He seemed to be one of those refined men, with an exquisite lifestyle that many hear but few see. “Consul, this is Fred Swan. He is from Dortmund, Germany, and he is an aeronautical engineer for Boeing and is working with Lufthansa.”

David extended his hand. “Hello, Mr. Swan, David Torres de la Garza, how are you? Forgive me, have we met before?”

Fred shook his hand. “Hello, Consul. No, this is the first time our paths have crossed.”

Florencia continued with the introductions, “Consul, Mr. Swan just arrived from a 28-hour flight from Japan. With the recent fall of the Berlin Wall, he´s now in Italy to attend the inauguration and commemorative events of the first flight from Milan to Berlin. 

“Very interesting, Mr. Swan,” David said. “I imagine you hold a fairly important position at Boeing.”

Fred shifted slightly in his seat, then offered a modest smile. “Thank you, but I’m not an important man, Consul.” He folded his hands on the table, pausing for just a moment. “I’m just an ordinary man. There are people far more important than me – the ones with everyday jobs, the people who keep the gears of society moving, they’re the ones who matter the most. Sometimes,” he added, “our roles in life are bigger than we think. At least … that’s what I’ve come to believe.” A quiet settled over the table. “Forgive me, Consul, I tend to ramble when I get philosophical.”

“No need to apologize,” David said gently. “I understand your point; we often fail to recognize the value in others. Sometimes … we only see it when it’s too late.”

“Exactly.” Fred cleared his throat. “Well, the reason I’m here, as I was telling Florencia here, who, by the way, is very kind.” Fred nodded to her. “I find myself in a very difficult situation. My wife, who is Mexican, is a pediatrician. She´s part of a UNICEF project for the construction of a hospital for children in Guadalajara, Mexico.”

“That is very noble of your wife, Mr. Swan.” Said David.

“Thank you, Consul and please, you both can call me Fred.” 

“Today, while I was checking into my hotel from my trip, the front desk had a fax for me.” Fred paused, his face tightened. “On this fax, it said that both my wife and daughter, on their way to the construction site, were in a car crash.” Fred paused, trying to force the words out. “By the time the paramedics made it to the scene … it was too late for my daughter … she did not survive. However, my wife was found alive but sustained heavy injuries and was sent immediately to the hospital for surgery. And it pains me not to be by her side.” A heaviness settled into David´s chest as he looked at Florencia in disbelief.

“Fred, I’m truly sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences.” Said David,” I cannot imagine what you´re going through. Have you informed the German consulate?”

 “I have,” said Fred. His expression was composed, but the weight of the situation dimmed his face as his voice wavered. “This is a very complicated and heavy topic for me to discuss, and I thank both of you for your time. As painful as it is, it all seems so unreal to me. When I told my situation to the German consular authorities, they said they would proceed with protocol to retrieve the body of my daughter so she can be buried back home in Dortmund. But the way they listened made me feel they lacked compassion, and it made everything harder to carry. I decided right then that I had to get to Mexico. But with Christmas around the corner, they said I’d be lucky to find a flight. I checked every airline, but no seats were available. And now I’m stranded, desperate. The longer this goes on, the worse it gets.”

 “Fred,” David cleared his throat. “There are no words for something like this. We pray for your wife’s recovery and for you to find your strength in this time. On behalf of the consulate, Florencia and I are sorry for your loss and all that you are enduring. Tell me, what can we do for you as of now?”

“Just to be heard. I´ve always admired the warmth and kindness of the people of Mexico. I am disappointed to say that I did not receive the same sympathy or compassion from my countrymen.”

“Feel free to stay here a little longer if you like, Fred.” Said David. “I will ask Florencia here if she can find any plane tickets to Mexico.”

“I have lived for a long time, consul,” said Fred. “And I have travelled to many places around the world, seen many things, and met many people. I mean it when I say you are good people. Well, thank you for taking the time.”

“It´s no problem at all, Florencia, whatever Fred needs, please make him feel at home.” 

“Will do, Consul, thank you.” Said Florencia.

David left Florencia´s office and returned to his own, but with a different attitude than when he had arrived at the consulate. Though he had just spoken with a man who had lost his daughter, David felt lighter. He sat down at his desk, looked at a picture of his wife, and contemplated all that Fred was going through. He took a deep breath and started working on the pending files.

Later that day, as the office began to quiet down and it was nearly time to leave, David saw Fred still with Florencia, talking in her office.   

“Florencia, Fred, I’m off.” Said David. “Fred, I wanted to extend my condolences again, and I hope you find a way to Mexico.”

“We were unable to find any flights with open seats.” Said Fred. “Perhaps I will have more luck if I were to go to the airport and speak with someone there.”

“I see,” said David. “Florencia, please call a taxi so Fred can be on his way to the airport as soon as possible.”

“Right away, Consul.” Replied Florencia. 

While Florencia made the call for a taxi, Fred rose from the chair. “Consul, I just want to say thank you for the help and kindness you and Florencia have given me today. I doubt that anyone else in all of Milan would’ve helped me as much as you did.” Fred extended his hand.

“I wish there was more we could do,” said Alejando, shaking his hand. “And I hope your wife’s surgery goes well.”

“Consul,” said Florencia. “The taxi will be here in 5 minutes.”

 “That’s great, thank you, Florencia.” Said David. “Fred, I must get going. Again, I wish you the very best.”

 Fred nodded in agreement. “Thank you, Consul, and I wish the same for you as well.” They both shook hands again. 

                                                                       II

 

 On his walk back home, David could not stop thinking about his encounter with Fred Swan, there were more questions than answers. Arriving at his front door, the key turned in the lock like it didn´t want to. He hesitated to push the door and felt the house quiet but not peaceful. David stepped in and shut the door, not too loudly. All day he’d tried to keep it together, dealing with a stranger´s struggle; it was time to deal with his own. He made his way into the kitchen, inhaling and exhaling, each step feeling like a choice. 

“I’m home.” Said David in a monotone voice.

 Karla, his wife, continued making dinner as her stomach tightened, not in fear or anger, but in defiance of always trying to diffuse every argument they´d had over the past months. Anything they said or did was like tiptoeing across a minefield, inevitably blowing up into heated discussions. She never wanted it to be like this; she longed for peace. But the crushing despair of not having it consumed her with anguish. 

 From the corner of her eye, she saw him set down his bag. His shoulders were slumped, his face was long, and he looked more drained than usual; she knew something was different. Karla wanted to know, but she was tired from carrying the weight, exhausted from trying to reach out to him, only to have him never reach back. But something shifted inside of her, and she lowered her guard.

“Hey.” She said, gently and clearly. Unsure of how he would react, maybe he would ignore her or explode, but it was a gamble she was willing to make. Karla knew that depending on his reaction would define the mood of the night. 

 David walked towards her, not knowing what to say, and, deep beneath their iron walls and damage, were husband and wife, eager to move on. For the first time in a long time, they both felt they could try again, and David told Karla about Fred Swan. 

“He seems to be a good man,” said David. “Who knows what´ll happen. Where is Iker, by the way?”

“He’s sleeping in the living room.”

“I`ll be right back, I’m going to check on him.” David quietly entered the living room; he approached the baby basket, gently picked up his 9-month-old son, and cradled him. He observed how peacefully he slept and softly brushed his hair. David laid him back down in his basket and gave him a small kiss on his forehead.

Suddenly, the telephone rang from the other room, and David quickly answered it so the noise wouldn’t wake the baby.

“Yes, hello?”

“Consul, good evening. It’s me, Florencia. I’m very sorry to disturb you, but I don’t know who else to call.”

“What’s going on, Florencia? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, but it’s Fred Swan.”

“Are you still with Fred? I thought he went to the airport.”

“He did, but he’s back at his hotel. He couldn´t find any flights. I just got a call from him. When he returned to the hotel, there was another fax from Mexico.”

“What did the fax say?”

“His wife passed away during the surgery; they couldn’t save her.” David shivered and stayed silent.

“Are you still there, Consul?”

“I’m here; go on, Florencia.”

“Tonight, his hotel is hosting the Lufthansa ceremony. But he doesn’t want to be there. He asked if he could spend some time with me at my apartment; he´s desperate and doesn’t want to be alone. But my children are asleep, and my husband is in London on a work trip. I don`t know what to do.”

David covers the phone with his hand and tells Karla what Florencia just told him.

“Tell her to give Fred our address.” Said Karla with no hesitation.

“Are you sure?” asked David.

“Yes, I’m sure! God forbid he does something horrible to himself at the hotel. If he doesn’t want to be alone, tell Florencia that he is welcome here.”

David lifts his hand from the phone. “Florencia, get in touch with Fred, give him my phone number, and address. Tell him he is welcome to come over if he likes.”

“Thank you again, Consul.” They both hung up.

“What happens now?” asked Karla.

“I suppose we wait for Fred.”

III

 

That evening dragged as Karla and David sat patiently waiting in the living room, waiting to see if there would be a knock on the door. Time slowly passed by, and the thought of Fred lingered in their minds. The air stirred at the double knock on the door.

“It must be him.” Jumped David. “Karla, would you mind getting the door, please, while I get some cups?”

“Of course,” said Karla with Iker in her arms, anxiously scanning the room to see if everything was in place. She went to the front door and took a moment to breathe in. When she was ready, she opened it, and before her stood Fred Swan, dressed in a white suit; he looked immaculate, affluent, and magnetic.

“Good evening,” said Karla with her eyes wide open. Fred carried himself gracefully, even though tragedy had struck him; there was a presence of tranquillity and peace that accompanied him as well.

“You must be Fred. Please come in, and welcome. My deepest condolences, Fred. My husband told me everything.”

“Thank you, my dear.” Fred smiled.

“David is in the living room. Please make yourself at home.”

“Thank you for inviting me, you have a very lovely home.”

“Fred,” said David, “I’m so happy you made it. Please come into the living room.” Fred and Karla made their way inside. Fred walked in, observing his surroundings with meticulous care.

“Is this your son?” Pointed Fred as he faced Karla.

“Yes, his name is Iker, only 9 months old.” Replied David.

“My,” Fred smiled. “What a beautiful child, may I hold him?” asked Fred gently.

“By all means, please go ahead,” Karla said as she carefully laid Iker into his arms. While Fred caressed him, Iker made cooing noises and reached for his little hand into the sky as if he wanted to touch Fred’s face. Fred softly grabbed Iker’s hand and gave him a gentle belly rub. He smiled back at the boy.

“Do you know what the name Iker means?” asked Fred. “It means ‘visitor’ and ‘the bringer of good news.’ Fred wandered through the living room, taking in the family photos on the bookshelves. “You have a very lovely wife, David, a woman of good and honest feelings. She is, without a doubt, your soulmate. You have been blessed with a beautiful family, Consul. Please, I beg of you, be happy.” Fred returned the child to Karla.

“Thank you, Fred,” Karla said quietly as she placed Iker back into his basket. A moment of silence loomed in the living room.

“That is very kind of you, Fred. Please, take a seat,” said David, gesturing toward the couch. “May I offer you anything? A drink? Some water?”

“Would it be too much to ask if you had whisky?”

“Whisky it is.” David stood and walked over to the cupboard, retrieving a bottle he’d been saving for a special occasion. He poured drinks for everyone.

“Fred, please accept our heartfelt sympathies. “Said David,” Florencia told me about the fax, about your daughter. There are no words that can lighten what you’re going through, but I want you to know that we’re here for you.” Karla nodded in agreement.

Fred twirled his glass of whisky. “The moment I read what had happened to her, I was struck with immense grief and being by myself made it all harder to bear. When Florencia told me you'd invited me to your home, I couldn’t bring myself to refuse. Thank you so much for showing me kindness all day and for inviting me into your home. I didn’t know what I would do if I stayed alone tonight. Would either of you mind if I smoked?”

“By all means, please go ahead.” Said David, grabbing his own cigarettes.

From the inside of Fred’s jacket, he took out a beautifully adorned silver cigarette case. David noticed that the cigarette case had an unusual design.

“That is a very nice cigarette case.” Said David.

“This case has my family’s coat of arms, all the way from the 13th century.” Said Fred as he took out a cigarette. “As you can see, there’s a shield with a castle in the middle. On top of the shield, there’s a knight’s helmet. And to the sides of the shield, the mantling, beautiful is it not?” Fred lights his cigarette. “You know,” he said quietly, “I have two boys waiting for me in Dortmund, nine and seven years old, right now they’re with my parents. And they still don’t know their mother and sister are gone.” He took a long drag from his cigarette. “I don’t even know how to say it to them. How do you tell a child the world is never going to be the same again?” He tilted the cigarette and let the ash fall into the tray.

“I know it might be hard to imagine now,” Karla softly said. “But life has a way of surprising us. Maybe one day you’ll feel ready to let someone in again.”

“Thank you, Karla, but I come from a family that has existed for over eleven generations in Dortmund, and to remarry contradicts one of our core beliefs. God blesses everyone with one soul mate, not two, not three, just one. No one in my family has ever remarried, no matter the circumstances. My wife was my soulmate, and remarrying is out of the question.

“I understand.” Said Karla.

“Life is so precious, my dear David,” Fred said, with a steady voice. “You have your wife, your child. I’ve lost both.” He paused, letting the silence stretch. “I know sometimes there are cracks in a home, God knows every home has them, but they can be mended. What’s broken can be held together if you choose to hold it. So, I implore both of you, David and Karla, to be happy, love each other.”

David and Karla held each other’s hands, allowing Fred’s words to sink in. 

“What will you do now, Fred?” asked David.

“I think I will go back to Germany and see my two boys. They need me, and I need them.

“Shall we drink to life and to our loved ones?” Suggested David as he held up his glass.

“That would be a wonderful idea, my dear David.” Replied Fred.

As the ashtray filled with ash and burned-out filters, Fred opened his cigarette case. “Oh my …  it seems I ran out.”

“There’s a store around that stays open late.” Added Karla. “Maybe you two should go together.” 

Both David and Fred agreed, rose up, grabbed their coats, and headed

towards the door. Fred went out the door first, but Karla called back David before he stepped out.

“One moment, Fred, Karla is calling me.” David leaned towards Karla. “Is everything alright?”

“I was just thinking … I think it’s better if we allow Fred to stay over.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’m sure, for some reason, I feel safe, I’m not afraid, I feel at peace, I can’t explain it, but you must trust me on this. He’ll only end up hurting if he goes back. Tell him that if he wants, he can spend the night here,” Insisted Karla.

David pondered. “Ok, I will let him know.”

The winter air clung to them as they stepped into the weak light of the corner store.

“You know, Fred, if you want, you are more than welcome to stay the night at our place.”

“That is very kind of you, but don’t you think it will be better if you first ask Karla? I don’t want to intrude.” Said Fred as he was paying for the cigarettes.

“It was actually her idea.”

“Ah … I see. And are you ok with this?”

“Of course, we have a sofa bed, and you can sleep there, you’re our guest, Fred.”

“In that case.” Said Fred as they both started walking back to the apartment. “I accept.”

They entered the apartment and shrugged off their coats, placing them neatly on the rack. Before stepping back into the living room, Fred nudged David.

“I knew I wasn’t wrong about you two.”

David gave him a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

Fred gestured towards the cross above the door. “You and your wife… You believe in something bigger. Only people like you would offer a stranger shelter.”

Footsteps approached, and Karla stepped into view. David glanced back at her, holding up the pack. “Got the cigarettes. And Fred’s staying the night.” Said Alejandro to Karla.

“How wonderful! “Karla said,” Have a seat at the table. I’m preparing something to eat; it shouldn’t take long.”

Over dinner, as Fred described the Christmas traditions in Dortmund, the glowing markets, spiced red wine, and the hundreds of Christmas trees lighting his village, Karla played music on the stereo. There was one song that really brought Fred joy. It was Silent Night. As he drank his whiskey, he looked down and smiled.

“Did you know,” said Fred. “Hundreds of years ago, my family knew the very composer of this song?”

“How interesting, what was the name of the composer?” asked Karla.

“Franz Xaver Gruber. My family always talked about him. As if we knew the man personally.” Chuckled Fred. “May I ask you a favor, David?” asked Fred.

“Of course, what is it?” David responded, intrigued.

“Do you know what would mean the world to me? If you and your lovely wife called me on Christmas Eve. Just to say hello.” Fred requested with a smile.

“It would be our pleasure.” Replied David.

Fred took out his business card and pen from his jacket and wrote down his phone number and address in Germany. “Here you go, dear friend, this is my contact information, phone number and address.” Said Fred as he handed David the business card.

He observed it well, then placed it in his wallet. “Thank you, Fred.” 

“No, thank you.”

“I think it’s time we called it a night.” Suggested David.

“It is getting late.” Said Fred as he finished his last sip of whisky.

David cleared the table and pulled out the sofa bed, while Karla went to get blankets. In a few seconds, the bed was ready, and Fred had already started taking his shoes off. “This has truly been a wonderful evening, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“You are very welcome, Fred.” Replied David. “I need to get up around 7 am to get to the consulate around 8. Is it ok if I drop you off in my car at the hotel in the morning before I arrive at work? asked David.

“Of course, wake me up whenever you’re ready.” Replied Fred.

“Goodnight, Fred.”

“Goodnight, David. I had a wonderful evening, thank you.”

 

V

 

In the early morning, David walked into the living room as Fred snored heavily. He leaned forward and wiggled his big toe.

“Good morning, Fred, did you rest well?”

“Goodness, what time is it?” as he yawned and stretched. “Is it time to go?”

“Yes, we should get going.”

Fred stood up and collected his belongings. “Where is Karla? I would like to say goodbye to her.”

“She’ll be here any second.”

In came Karla, holding back her tears as she gave Fred a strong hug. “Fred, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for being here with us last night. We promise to give you a call on Christmas.”

“Please do, it would mean the world to me.”

“Ready, Fred?” asked David.

“Ready. Replied Fred.

Karla waved them goodbye as they both walked out the door.

Upon arriving at the Hotel Michelangelo, David parked on the side of the road. He felt good and happy, though at a loss for words.

“David,” said Fred with a gentle voice. “You are a good man, don’t ever forget it.”

“Thank you, Fred. I won’t.”

Fred extended his hand, and David shook it firmly.

“Until we meet again, my friend.” Said Fred.

“Until we meet again.” Replied David.

Fred got out of the car and walked straight into the hotel as he waved goodbye. David watched him disappear in the crowd, then headed to the office. As soon as he arrived, he went straight to Florencia to tell her how the evening with Fred and Karla had unfolded. 

 

                                                                       VI

 

In the days following Fred’s visit, things changed. The sharp edges in the house began to dull. Words flowed more easily, carrying warmth and affection, slowly closing the distance between David and Karla.

By the time Christmas Eve arrived, the apartment felt lighter, calmer. Over dinner as candles flickered and soft music played in the background, Karla finally asked the question they’d both been thinking about.

“Has Fred tried contacting you?”

“No, no, he hasn’t, but I think we should call him, don’t you think?”

“I think so, it is Christmas Eve.”

David rose from the table and walked toward the phone. He pulled out his wallet and took out the card Fred had given him. He dials the number as shown on the card. The phone starts to ring. Soon after the first few times it rang, a German voice message appeared that David couldn’t understand.

“That’s odd.” He dials again. Same voice message. He looked at the card closely to see if he dialed the wrong number, but he didn´t.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s no answer, only there’s a voice message in German.”

“How about we try tomorrow?”

“I hope nothing is wrong.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.”

The morning after, David got up early and dialed the number again but was met with the same result. Unable to make sense of the voice message, he continued with his day.

Later that afternoon, the house phone rang.

“Maybe that’s Fred!” Said Karla excitedly.

David picked up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hello David, it’s Ernesto calling, Merry Christmas! How are you?”

Though he felt a brief flicker of disappointment that it wasn’t Fred, David was still happy to hear from his colleague at the Mexican Consulate in Frankfurt. As they caught up on work and family, something occurred to David: Ernesto was fluent in German.

“Ernesto,” he said after a pause. “I need a favor. There´s a phone number I would like to call, but the voicemail is in German. Could you translate it for me?”” He went on to explain how he met Fred Swan and how he ended up spending the night at his apartment.

“That is very interesting. Give me his number, and I will call him right now. Let’s see what the voicemail says.” Said Ernesto.

“Thank you, I appreciate your help on this.”

“No worries, I’ll get back to you soon.”

And they both hung up the phone. A couple of minutes later, Ernesto returned the phone call.

“How did it go?” asked David.

“The recording says the number you dialed is incorrect or doesn´t exist.”

David stayed silent, thinking to himself if maybe Fred could´ve written down his number incorrectly.

“Well, you mentioned he wrote down his address, right?” asked Ernesto.

“Yes, I have his address.”

“Give me his address, and I will send him a letter from our consulate saying we're trying to reach him.”

“Thank you, Ernesto.”

“No problem, we’ll keep in touch.”

                      

                                                                       VI

 

A week and a half had passed when David received another call from Ernesto.

There was hesitation in Ernesto’s voice. “David, there is something odd about this whole story. We sent two letters to the address in Dortmund you gave me, and both came back.

“How is that possible?”

“I don’t know, after the first letter came back, I placed all the diplomatic stamps on the letters, making it more official and highlighting its importance, but they all came back.”

“Do you think it’s a lost cause?”

“Well, there is one more thing that can be done, but it’s a long shot.” He cleared his throat. “The police station is where they have all the public records of everyone in Germany. If anyone has information about Fred, it’s them. What do you think?” 

“I think it’s worth a try.”

“If I find out anything, I’ll let you know.” They both hung up.

Another week and a half passed, and Ernesto called.

“David?” His voice was dry and sounded confused.

“Is everything all right, Ernesto?”

“Well, I went to the police station as I mentioned. And I gave them Fred’s information and his address.”

“Ok, and what did the police come up with?”

“I’ll give it to you straight; the name of Fred Swan is real and so is the address.” Ernesto paused. “However, the last member of the Swan family in Dortmund died over 300 years. The address you gave me; nobody is living in that house; it’s empty.”

“Are you serious?”

“I went to the address myself, David. It is an abandoned property on the outskirts of Dortmund. Trust me, there's nothing there.”

“Did you see anything that caught your eye?”

“On top of the gated entrance, there was an emblem. I recall it had a shield, a castle and a knight's helmet. Why? Does that mean anything to you?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“I understand your curiosity in trying to find this man. But there are things that aren’t adding up.”

“I appreciate all your effort and work in helping me locate this person, Ernesto.”

They both hung up. David spoke to Karla, all puzzled, and told her what Ernesto had told him. It all seemed so unreal. There was one more thing David could do. It was a long shot, but it was still an option. He went to the Boeing offices at the airport. He presented himself as an active diplomat and asked whether a person named Frank Swan was in their database. The people at Lufthansa were checking the system, but no one with that name came up. David returned home convinced that finding him would seem impossible.

He spoke with Karla, and neither of them had an explanation of what was happening with Fred Swan. However, they were both happy that this man entered their lives.

That night, David dreamed that he was flying in Dortmund. From an aerial view, he could see the Christmas markets with the Christmas trees that Fred had described. The whole town was beautifully lit, and it looked magical. Out of nowhere, he could hear the song Silent Night echoing through Dortmund. Then, there he stood, Fred Swan. He approached him.

“Fred, I have been looking for you.”

“I know David. It’s not our time to meet again. But right now, I have given you a second chance at happiness. Use it well.”

David soon woke up, saw Karla sleeping serenely, and gave her a kiss before hugging her. 

Comments 1

S
SUNSFebruary 13, 2026
This is a really cool concept, but I think either you need to write it entirely in Fred's perspective or David's. As of now, the plot twist falls flat because we see too much of Fred's mind; it'd be really interesting to start the story with David who notices Fred walk in and maybe even foreshadow the ending a bit with clues, like Fred only walked in the shadows, or maybe Florencia didn't even notice Fred walk in/out of the room... and then, see if you can play around with how David's grief parallels Fred's! Like, show how David feels when he is around Karla, like maybe use images of space and distance instead of telling us, and that way it can also connect with Fred's loss as well!

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