Darkness Minds

Awakened for what it feels like the first time ever, no memories before this day. Thoughts racing through my head like;  who am I , where did I come from and how did I get here, as I look around trying to think it begins to hurts, like if I were to think any harder my head would just explode but it wasn’t just my head that hurt my whole body felt in pain, I run my fingers over my body finding deep cuts everywhere, I feel the floor and it feels wet and thick I start thinking to myself "is this blood"  I begin to hyperventilate, what if someone left me here to die ! Darkness surrounds me like a cloud, noises everywhere. My head starts racing with thoughts like what if someone is here watching me, what if and before I can finish my thought I notice a light shining through a little hole between the ceiling and the wall. I finally picked myself up and started to walk towards the light. With everything I know so far I am beyond scared I rushed without any hesitation, once I reach the light I begin to notice that my clothes were covered in thick blood, I begin to think the worst and before I know it my thoughts have gone past the limit. I try my best to keep calm and find a way out of here. I begin to feel around looking for anything to stand. I reach around were I was laying when I woke up and find a boulder, my thoughts start back up again, what happened here but I pull myself together once again and drag the boulder over to the wall and stand on it just barely reaching the hole, I put my fingers to it and realize its dirt, as I pull it apart the light shines brighter, the dirt hitting my feet but my only worry now is what lays beyond this point. I dig faster but the dirt feels like it has broken glass in it so I look down at my fingers and they were cut badly. I push through the pain but suddenly pounds of dirt come crashing down on me knocking me to the floor. As I look up from what I can tell looks like a sheet of wood covering the hole but the light still manages to shins directly down on me. I scream as loud as I can but nothing happens, no response. I pick myself yet another time wiping everything off that I can. I begin to claim the wall and I reach up and grab the wood and the side of the wall pulling myself to the surface. I take a deep breath while lying on the ground I close my eyes and let the light was shin on me so more it felt so good. I sit up and look around and see tombstones everywhere, as I look over to find I was in a dug out grave hole. I look inside with the light shinning in and red was covering the ground, I come to see that were I was lying there were blankets but there looked soaked in blood. I begin to panic and before I knew it I was kicking down and pushing all the dirt into this hole as if it never happened but it took too much time, I needed to quicker.  I needed something that would help me, my eyes searching everywhere, they lock onto a shovel a little ways down but No one can notice me or they will ask questions to things I can’t answer. I look around to see if anyone is around but to my surprise there was no one or so I thought. I begin to run to the shovel when out of nowhere I hear someone yelling, I freeze up not being able to move, what if this is the person who hurt me. A hand grabs my shoulder and turns me around. It was an older fellow but he didn’t look to much older than me, sadly I didn’t know how old I was so that didn’t help anything , but if I had to guess he was in his late 20s, dark hair, brown eyes, medium build with a casual look to him. He said “What are you doing here and why are you covered in blood and full of dirt, should I call the cops or are you going to answer me". I didn’t want to say a word but felt if I didn’t that something bad would happen, I thought maybe I lie but in all reality but would I say anything I would say would in fact be the truth. I don’t know sir I woke up this way and just trying to get out of here, he looked puzzled or maybe he did this to me and was glad I didn’t remember his face. He looked at me some more as if he was analyzing me, finally he spoke" What do you mean you wake up this way" Maybe he didn’t know anything and was just concerned. Sir I don’t know who I am, where I came from or how any of this got like this, all I know is I woke u in a hole, suddenly I stopped talking waiting for his response did I say too much, what if the cops do get called. He didn’t say a word; he just stared at me like I was an idiot. Sir I need your help this may sound all messed up but I think someone did this to me and for some reason I feel as if I need to know who they are and why they did this to me and stop them so that it will never happen to anyone again. He finally spoke but only a few words I was hoping to hear "Fine I'll help". He picked up the shovel and said " what do you need done" I was so shocked he agreed to help but was very grateful at the same time. I need all this dirt put back in the hole as if it was never here,  do you have another shovel I can use. He then pointed to a cemetery building “in there" when I finally reached the doors thoughts raced through my head, could he be the man I’m looking for or just a man willing to help. I opened the doors to find work tools everywhere; I grab the shovel and get out of there. When I got to the hole no words were spoken, there were just sounds of the shovel hitting the dirt and lifting up only to hit the ground again. A couple hours had past and finally the hole was gone. I then thanked the man for his help and began to walk away when I heard a loud chuckle. "You think you can just walk away as if nothing had happened Mr. Rivers”. I froze right there not being able to move inch thinking is that my name and if so how did he know it. My body rushed to the thought I was thinking all along, I quickly turned around" Who are you and how do you know my name". He smiled and said “I know a lot of things about you and your family Mr. Rivers ". My body feels with anger and aggression this guy is messing with my head, I burst out saying “I’m not going to ask again “he then grabs the shovel firm in hand “why don't we sit down and talk". Without thinking I bolted off not even looking behind me to see if he was following me. All I could think was who was this guy and how could he claim he knows me. The only thing I know is that my name is Joey Rivers and this guy just made a death wish.

2 years later

Been on the road for a while now, never staying in one place for more than a day, always afraid that one day my past will catch up to me. I would ask myself the same questions day in and day out and most importantly, I need to find out who I am and what's going on!

The nights grow darker and the days become shorter. Winter is approaching and they’re less places to go and resources are starting to thin. I can’t remember the last time I had a good meal or something comfy to sleep. My mind wanders a lot lately, sleepless nights and rough mornings. I begin to wonder if my mind will just give up and my body will let go. As I walk through the fields filled with snow, my toes begin to freeze, my foot steps are as heavy as ice and my lungs are ice cold. All I can think to myself is get through the night.

My mind has been playing tricks on me over the last few hours. It’s like I hear a voice calling out my name. Whenever I get up, no one is there, no sounds, no luck. I try to rest my eyes and the voices call out. It’s like my mind is trying to remember something but it’s just out of reach. There are moments where it feels like a nurturing voice, someone who may have loved me. I have this warm feeling in my chest when I hear my name being called even though there’s no one around to claim the voice.

These nights would go on for weeks on end, my mind at this point felt stripped down to nothing. I could eat anything right about now, even a cold piece of meat would be nice at this point. I find myself losing touch with reality most days and I often stumble around until night arrives and then comes the endless loop. Survive the day, live through the night. My mind is filled with fear and without the memory of who I am, who do I really have that loves me? I can’t even remember my own life and I don’t even know what I’m doing at this point.

Late one night, a voice called out to me but this time, it was an unfamiliar one. I must of wandered onto their property and they wanted me gone. Little did I know, the closer I got the more I could see the sadness in their eyes. They ran up to me and hugged me. I felt nothing but confusion. “Joey, you’re okay” they asked. My face said it all but my words came out blunt “listen, I’m sorry I didn’t know this was your field, I’m lost and I’m not sure where I’m going.” Tears rolled down their face. “What happened to you, don’t you remember me” I had no clue who they were but they obviously knew me. “Son, you don’t need to be afraid anymore” Son? Am I to believe that I wouldn’t recognize my own father? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I took a step back but I was greeted with more pain. “Joey, you’ve been in a terrible accident, the night of crash you were driving up with your friends to go camping by the old cemetery” At this point he had lost me, what kind of person goes camping by a cemetery. “You never came home, we put up posters and everyone went out looking for you but you were gone.” At that point, I was afraid to ask but I knew I needed answers “what happened to my friends?” He paused for a moment but it felt like hours. “Joey, you’re the only one that’s shown up, everyone else is still missing” My body felt paralyzed but my mind started to race. How could something like this happen? I didn’t notice that we were on the front porch now and warmth was just seconds away. I couldn’t think a second longer, I had to eat, sleep and repeat. It’s all I’ve thought about for weeks.

We sat at the table and went over the last couple of years. My confusion was the hardest thing to level out. I explained where I woke up which was hours away from home but close to where we were going. The only things that doesn’t make sense is why I can’t remember anything, my friends are still missing and why I ended up in a hole in the ground. My father got up and excused himself from the table. “I’m sorry son but it’s been a long night, we should both get some rest and talk about this in the morning. I didn’t say another word, I just nodded my head and went to bed.

That morning it was hard to come to grips with everything that had happened but at the same time, it was so nice to sleep in a warm bed with food in my stomach. I got up and went through the fridge, took what looked good and threw it back and went back to sleep for a few more hours. When I went out to the living room, my fathers head was down. He must be tired, I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around. “Are you okay Joey?” He asked in a worried voice. My mind was still playing tricks on me. My mind raced to many thoughts. At first my mind played out that he had been shot and killed, another his neck was bleeding from a deep cut. My heart was racing and my head felt dizzy. “Joey, Joey, Joey” the words became weaker and weaker. The last thing I remember was hitting the ground. When I woke up I was back in bed. I got up and went to the living room. My father was laying on the couch. I ran over to him and said “are you okay?” He sat up and said “why wouldn’t I be?” He seemed confused. “Did you have a good sleep last night?” I didn’t know what to think at this point. It felt like my mind was out of sorts. “Joey, please don’t let go.” My eyes opened for a second to see something in front of me, I couldn’t make it out but in a flash, it was gone. I was back at my old house but things seemed different. There was a swing set in the backyard but it didn’t make sense because we never had a swing set. There was a little shovel in the sand. It didn’t feel like home anymore but the longer I stood things started to not make sense. A voice called out and said it was time for supper. I looked around but no one was there. It felt like my mind was all over the place. I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut, once I opened them, I was back in the graveyard.