Remember Romance?

The Materialists is a film we needed to see.

After seeing the endless opinions about this movie, I must admit that my interest in watching it decreased. I made the biggest mistake anyone can make: I let myself be influenced by opinions on the internet.

This week I ran out of things to watch at the end of my day. I opened my streaming service and said to myself, “Why not? I love Past Lives, let’s see how this goes.” I can’t believe I didn’t watch it sooner.

This film tackles real topics we’re dealing with today in the modern era of romance. Celine Song made the film that we were missing. There are so many things we could discuss about this movie, but I’ll focus on the main one: how we decide who to be with.

Love, particularly who we fall in love with, is something we’ve never been able to figure out. There are theories, philosophies, even schools that study love and its different variations. Right now we’re facing a crisis, a plague. This disease makes us believe that we will find the right person through checklists we make about people. Through potential or expectations. We want someone to fit into a mold like cookie dough, in exchange for staying the same ourselves. We want them to have a certain income and status, share our passions, but we don’t want anything to do with their world. We’ve all been guilty, to a certain degree, of falling into these honest mistakes. Decisions we make to try to protect ourselves, heal certain wounds, or try something different.

Sadly, as the film says, we can’t think our way through it. We don’t fall in love with a person who makes sense, because it doesn’t have to make sense. We (should) care for people because of who they are, not because what they have. We can try to prioritize other elements, but the more we lie to ourselves about the real reasons we’re with someone, the emptier we will feel with that person.

“Lucy,” played by Dakota Johnson, is the perfect representation of what we should all be doing. A woman who, no matter how hard she tried to make her “unicorn” (Harry, played by Pedro Pascal) the right choice, in the end it’s the person who loves you for who you are (John, played by Chris Evans) that you should grow old with. It shouldn't matter how much of a “perfect match” you're for each other, if that is not there.

I remember the opinions everywhere. Many people were angry that Lucy didn’t choose the man with wealth, because she got get back with her ex, or even that the film was pushing certain narratives. Is it an intelligent decision? Of course not. Is it the right decision? If it makes her happy, I think so. Sometimes what brings us joy doesn’t have to make sense. Not everything is a business decision. It doesn’t have to make sense in your Excel sheet to be with someone, it has to help you grow as a person.

If you ask me, I’m glad this film sparked controversy. It means it started a conversation, which is what as artist we always try to go for. This time, we finally began talking about something that scares us so much today.

I think it’s a wonderful film. I think it fights to revive romantic movies, which we let disappear for a while. It fights to remind us what we should be looking for in our relationships. It fights for people to stop making every decision about finances and starts thinking about what it makes them feel. Because money has overcome all of our decisions, including love. I hope you watch this movie and it makes you think twice.

PS: I really hope romantic movies make a comeback, I think we all miss them.