The Rat Daddy

Ratatouille's real catch was not Remy, it was his dad. This might sound controversial, but hear me out. Ratatouille is one of Pixar's most iconic animated films. If you're unfamiliar with it, you're probably too young to be thinking about love, and I shouldn't, but in the spirit of good friendship, I'll tell you about it. 

Basically, Remy, a French rat (literally) discovers that he has a passion for cooking, and pursues it by sneaking into an old lady's kitchen. He, like all likable characters, absolutely despises his family, and believes he is misplaced living the rat life. After all, he is an uncomprehended (food) artist. One frightful evening, he gets caught and the whole colony has to move, but he is lost in the way and ends up in Paris. Long story short, he meets Alfredo Linguini and teaches him how to cook for the restaurant of his dreams. Woo-hoo, good for them. In the movie, Linguini is portrayed as the romantic interest, of course, and ends up falling in love with Colette, a cool and tough (and low-key scary) chef he works with.

But have you ever stopped to think about Remiy's dad? You probably haven't. You probably don't even know his name. Why would you? He's a fictional fat rat. (His name is Django by the way). Oh, but he is so much more.

Let's put it into perspective: this rat has managed to successfully run an entire colony (we're talking of at least a thousand rats!). Not only does he run the colony, but all the rats there respect him (except for our little punk friend, Remy), they work for him, bring him goods, and keep his family comfortable (I mean, Emille was a big boy for a reason). He also knows his way around Paris, we know this because he knows where to take Remy to scare him off of humans, and he is one of the few rats with private chambers. Django is basically a Mafia leader in the rat world. Do you see where I'm going with this? 

Let me put it plainly: he is every sugar baby's dream come true. 

He is a leader, a provider, and a (literal) daddy, and he is more than generous with his family. Sure, he looks a bit worn out, but did you ever see Ratthew? (Also known as Git, the iconic buff rat, friend of Emille) Now, that's a good-looking rat if I ever saw one.

So, for the sake of my imagination, let's imagine together: young Django. A Parisian rat, buff, classy (look at him drink his wine in that last scene, for god's sake, he had some class), rich, bee-keeping age, and single. 

For me, Django is the Valentine's daddy we all deserve, and I think he has been harshly overlooked (maybe because of his ratiness, but isn't it time we get over that? We're into cars (Lighting McQueen) and horses (Spirit) and lions (Simba, Mufasa), why can't we be into rats?). So, this year, I invite you to have Django, our rat daddy, in your Valentine cards.